I am honored to even say I work in the same industry as this man. Mark my words, he will go down in history as one of the most unpretentious, real designers of all time. (Plus he’s really, really good.) I’m even more confident in this conviction since hearing him speak at Creative Mornings in Portland.

By the way, Creative Mornings is the coolest thing ever. It’s hosted monthly in several cities and the tickets go like really hot hotcakes. Like, within three minutes all 150 tickets for Draplin’s preso were reserved. Fortunately, I snagged one and can share all of Aaron’s mind-blowing statements…okay, so you can watch the full thing online, too. (But! What you don’t get is the collector’s edition Fields Notes Memo Book all attendees received. I got #749. The best one, I’m sure.)

Without further ado, here’s an abbreviated version of “The DDC 50 Point Plan to Ruin Yer Career“, with some other quotable quotes thrown in.

Move somewhere wild.
Get out there and get dirty.
Catch it before it goes to the landfill.
As a good Midwesterner, you’re told you’re gonna hate your job.
Loose the crutch.
We’re lucky to do this and shed all that stuff, too.
Watch out for web developers.
Pay off those f-ing school loans.
Quit spending your money on bulls***.
Purple. It’s the color of sweaters on cat people.
Be the client. Invent things.
Go by car.
Question stuff constantly.
Know who’s got the power.
Savor the little stuff.
Know all the shades of being “professional”.
But don’t let it get UNFUN.
Invest in some sweatpants. $8 at Target. Cut the bottoms off for a modern fit.
Get free.
Treat the UPS guy, mail lady and printing pressman like they are gold.
Be thankful for everything.

(Tall Tales from a Large Man is Draplin’s standard presentation. Read up on it via a previous post if you’d like.)

If there’s anywhere I feel at home, it’s in a room full of creatives. Add a low buzz of anticipation and a presentation from an illustrious designer and I couldn’t be happier. I needed to find that down here in Texas before my design-loving heart would really start to tick. Lo and behold, AIGA just started up the San Antonio chapter. Perfect timing.

Since San Antonio is just a hop, skip and a jump from Austin, I have a feeling we’ll be borrowing many connections from them. Case-in-point: Austin-dwelling Armin Vit came to speak last night. Though Armin now lives in Austin, he was born and raised in Mexico City and spent a considerable amount of time in a few of the the States’ design hot-spots (Atlanta, Chicago and New York). You may know him best by UnderConsideration, he and his wife’s blogging platform and root of many enterprises.

He spoke on turning creative obsessions into opportunities, which is exactly what he’s done. His obsession is design. He’s used that passion to fuel projects that fuel similar passions in others. If you’re not familiar with Armin and Bryony’s countless achievements and ventures, I’ll let you do the research. Here are a few: UnderConsideration, Brand New, Brand New Conference, Brand New Awards, For Print Only, Art of the Menu, Quipsologies, Flaunt, The Adventures of You and I (Wow.)

Not all of his projects have been successful, but many of them have. Armin graciously shared stories from his personal experience on both sides of the fence. Since I know you all wish you had also relocated to the Lone Star State so you could get in on Armin’s insights, I suppose I can share…

Also:

“If you can do anything ‘a day’, you’ll get a following.”
“We don’t want to work for the man. The man sucks.”
“Lessons: You can’t anticipate. You can’t react. Look for the opening. Have money in the bank.”
“Stupidity beats inhibition.” (Don’t repress your stupid inclinations or ideas. Try them.)
“Stupidity leads to creativity.”
“If opportunity knocks, open the damn door.”

I once had to edit a pregnant woman’s portrait to look as though she wasn’t pregnant. True story. To aid in the process, she submitted a photo of herself when she wasn’t with child. (Can I tell you a secret? She looked exactly the same.) To appease said hormone-infused client, I narrowed her face, removed a chin or two, enlarged her eyes and lips and increased the height of her bouffant. She loved it.

The moral of the story: Use what you’ve got. Make your clients happy.

But anyway, back to Tina Fey. Bossypants is a kick in the pants…in the fun sort of way. I read it a while back and copied down this excerpt to share on a day like today. Since most of you (like me) have been wrangled into designing (and de-chinning people) in Photoshop, it’s healthy to grasp the idea that Photoshop is here to stay. (My apologies for all the rhyming. It really wasn’t on purpose, but to write un-rhyming lines seems terribly hard at the moment.)

Anyone else wonder what this Photoshop file’s layers look like?

“Photoshop itself is not evil. Just like Italian salad dressing is not inherently evil, until you rub it all over a desperate young actress and stick her on the cover of Maxim, pretending to pull her panties down. (That “thumbs in the panties” move is the worst. Really? It’s not enough that they got greased up and in their panties for you, Maxim?)

Give it up. Retouching is here to say. Technology doesn’t move backward. No society has ever de-industrialized. Which is why we’ll never turn back from Photoshop – and why the economic collapse of China is going to be the death of us all. Never mind that. Let’s keep being up in arms about this Photoshop business!

I don’t see a future in which we’re all anorexic and suicidal. I do see a future in which we all retouch the bejeezus out of our own pictures at home. Family Christmas cards will just be eyes and nostrils in a snowman border.

At least with Photoshop you don’t really have to alter your body. It’s better than all these disgusting injections and implants. Isn’t it better to have a computer do it to your picture than to have a doctor do it to your face?

I have thus far refused to get any Botox or plastic surgery. (Although I do wear a clear elastic chin strap that I hook around my ears and pin under my day wig.) I can’t be expected to lead the charge on everything. Let me have my Photoshop.

For today is about dreams!”

And there you have it.